That’s Cryptic + Stringamajig. If you aren’t into cryptics but are curious, there are a lot of good sites on the web on how to solve cryptic crosswords. If it doesn’t hold your interest, there’s always Stringamajig. Of course, you could do both; nothing would delight me more.
CRYPTIC:
- Back off in burning platform (11)
- Smash a lot of rhinos (5)
- Jealousy of minister, nothing less (4)
STRINGAMAJIG:
Below is a set of six words. You need to string them together in one whacky sentence – or a profound one, if you wish. There’s no word limit. But if you want to break it up into more sentences, you do have a word limit of 15.
Flippant, Kiwi, Apprehend, Mortgage, Bang, Harpoon.
-Verbs could be used in any tense, mood and form.
-If a word has multiple meanings / parts of speech, you are free to use any.
May the whackiest sentence win. Well, there’s no winner – at least not yet. Just have fun with words.
Edited to add: The cryptic has been solved by catcharun. The answers appear in the comments. If you still want to give it a sincere shot – and I say you should – do not read the comments just yet. If you crack it, please state the answers in your comment; I’ll gladly take your word for it. -g
42 
Flippantly rising on my apprehended ladder i picked up plenty of kiwis with an harpoon thru the net; the trees garden will be soon on mortgage, so we want to try them before they’ll be all banged!
Hehe :D Welcome here, radha! -g
Then there was this Korean called Bang Ki Wi
The flippant had the gall to mortgage his Biwi
What the bugger didn’t comprehend
That even if the police didn’t apprehend
Yo Biwi would Harpoon his a** on TV!
:D
ROFL! Must give it to you! -g
‘Crash of Rhinos’ was a learning.
Rad’s and Naren’s STRINGAMAJIG was outstandingly funny. Sardar Harpoon Singh….ROFL
May be, a harpoon banged the flippant kiwi, till it reverse mortgaged itself to form wiki(pedia), I apprehend.
Who knows ?
Cheers!
~uh~
Yeah, isn’t crash of rhinos nice? :) Parliament of owls in another favorite too. LOL, yes those two indeed took the cake! Yours is quite original too – lol@reverse mortgaged. I should do this again sometime soon, it’s a riot to read all that creativity :) -g
My humble attempt:
Appalled by the sight of its own mortgage lender watching TV at its home while it flipped its pants under the sun using a harpoon, the kiwi shouted “Turn off that awful Sallu song ‘Bang Bang’ or else I will have you apprehended!”.
LOL! Thanks for dropping in, Anna. Would that be Anna like in Anna Karenina or Anna like in Anna Shetty? Will visit you and find out :) -g
Answers Explained:
1. Back off in burning platform (11): SCAFFOLDING
Reverse (back) the word ‘off’ in ‘scalding’ (burning), to give sca(ffo)lding, which means platform.
2. Smash a lot of rhinos (5): CRASH
Double definition: Crash means to smash, and crash is the collective noun for rhinos (yeah, a crash of rhinos :) ).
3. Jealousy of a minister, nothing less (4): ENVY
Minister = envoy; “nothing less” = take the ‘o’ (zero/nothing) off, to mean jealousy = envy.
Thanks a ton for your awesome responses; enjoyed every one of them!
-g
All flippancy aside, Mortgage and Kiwis ( the fruit ) makes me want to bang my head with a harpoon, without the mildest apprehension.
Hehehe, me too :D Welcome here, Sudha! -g
i am not good with vague puzzles like this one..here is my rather prosaic effort
flippant kiwis are funny fruit
they think harpoons go bang
mortgages are hilarious to boot
you apprehend one at to a bank
oh and thanks for that cryptic..
LOL! That was indeed good, catch – and you know it! :) Glad there’s a taker for cryptics. You could subscribe to the list if you wish; I send out clues by email ever(y) so often. -g
Rads, you are awesome. I came up with this but it is painfully clear even to me that age, booze and too many late nights have addled my brains considerably.
“Kiwis are 200 rupees a kilo”, said Sardar Harpoon Singh, looking great in Flip pants, bangs and a Pre Hend bought at the Gage Mart
Hahaha. That is hard to beat, isn’t it? :) You’re quite a sport yourself, though; this is hilarious! If this is what addles your brain, you should booze more often – age and late nights will take care of themselves :) -g PS: That Mr. Gage – right, the mart-owner – I hope you referring good ol’ Mort, not li’l Lug, yeah?
Cryptic solved so 2nd one.
Flippant Kiwis apprehended for mortgage fraud and cops banged them with harpoons.
Kiwis are flippant they mortgage everything to bang some using harpoons and get apprehended.
Blech.. :D
LOL!! This gets interesting! -g
Here you go:
1. Hearing the loud Bang, the Apprehended Kiwi remarked flippantly “There goes your silly Harpoon, bursting the Sub-Prime Mortgage bubble!”.
2. Balancing the Kiwi on her prized Harpoon, the maharani of Bangkor decided flippantly that she’d rather mortgage it at the Joker’s, than Apprehend him.
3. The three musketeers, Flippant, Apprehend and Harpoon; subjected their precious pet Kiwi to hideous Bangs much to its displeasure; a sure sign of Mortgage-induced-delirium.
4. “Apprehend the beauty of the big Bang theory”, cried Prof Kiwi at her Flippant students, sadly realizing that their brains were mortgaged to the shrewd Mr. Harpoon down the road.
ROFL. I bow to thee O Queen :) That was awesome!! -g
dang…i am a succor for puzzles :)
sca(ffo)lding
crash
env(-o)y
:))
Not bad at all :) Go for the other thing as well! -g
Flippant Kiwis apprehended as they Mortgaged Banged Harpoons. I honestly don’t know what the hell I meant by this, But definitely did not mean to offend my fellow earthlings in Newzealand :)
LOL, nice. They can’t be offended if they don’t know what you meant either :D Oh btw, you don’t have to maintain the order of the words…and you can rearrange as many times as you want! -g