Caveat

If a person feels encumbered by political correctness in grammar, you will most likely see him write like this. I mean, you will not see her write, “…you will see him or her write like this.” I happen to be one such person. Expect to find completely random hims or hers (but not both) when I refer to no one in particular. It is not conclusive of anything other than the fact that I find it painful to write “him or her” each time.

I do not discriminate between cultures, genders, races, orientation and any category that could be discriminated against. I take a dig at everyone alike. If you do not find your category jibed at, it probably only means it has more things to be laughed about than those already mentioned. That will take time to list and compile. Please don’t feel left out; just take a number (I suggest 42) and patiently wait your turn.

My friend circle comprises people from myriad cultures, speaking various languages with quirky accents, and of either sexual orientation. If there is anything that I’ve learnt from them, it’s that people essentially come in only two categories: Grouches and Non-grouches. If you happen to be the latter, I have no doubt you will take everything you read just like you take your coffee – with a pinch of salt. If you happen to be the former, you will have to do the same thing that you do when you look for socks in a furniture store – go elsewhere.

If you do not take salt in your coffee, you must simply be weird. I’m appalled, but that doesn’t stop me from welcoming you here all the same :)

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16 responses to “Caveat

  1. hey, i was recommended your blog on http://www.facebook.com/TowelDayIndia and i thought it was hilarious (your blog, not towel day’s page….well, that too, but i wanted to say that i thought your blog made me laugh…no, actually, i didn’t THINK, i am SURE it made me laugh…erm, no actually, it just made me laugh…i didn’t mean to say that as a past tense…it actually makes me laugh…i mean, not like right now, but it was making me laugh when i was reading it…oh hell, i give up!)…so, to cut a long story short and avoid any more cliches, i’d like to know if you are up for a do in either pune or mumbai (since it seems that you are a resident of one of these places) and if you could kind of ask your reader base if they’d like to attend….they can visit towel day india’s page on FB and ‘Like’ us…and once again, very funny blog…i mean, i am not laughing NOW, but i was laughing some time back…not, of course, at the towel day india people, but at your blog…i mean, at your writing…not that you write funnily, but that what you write seems funny…funny is what you write..hmmm…well, tell you what, forget it!

  2. Gee! Someone who thinks 42 is the coolest number ever and loves poking fun at all things fun-makeable. Kickass only!:) You got yourself a regular reader lady

    • Amen! And welcome, someone else who thinks 42 is a cool number loves poking fun at all things pokeable – for starters, Facebookers ;) -g

  3. Ha G! Your blog came highly recommended and just done trawling through your archives. Neat work and delighted with your sense of humor. Though bit heart broken to realize that you are actually married. So there goes my heartfelt proposal which is still in the draft mode…sigh..now it will never see the light of the day ( unless you are in the mood of course ).

    One wonders what is the point of being a dashing,brainy young man if all the G’s of the world are already married who are out of bounds ?
    *sigh*

    – me :)

    • I’m told marriage and humor don’t generally humor each other, and I have someone to vouch for it :-| You’re patient (and brave!) to have trawled through the archives; thanks for stopping by :) -g

      • Indeed…that is possibly because you are in Uncle Sam and there the “humor” does not have “u” :P

  4. Ok, now as per the general clauses act “Him includes Her”. Seriously.

    • It does. I think it always did, until it was questioned and overthrown during some feminist/literary movement. But don’t quote her on it ;) -g

  5. Sorry! I commented as friend from fergie above. I thought you were an old friend I was looking for. This site is so eeriely her, I was sure it can’t be anyone else. Sorry for the long and silly comment!

    There’s no such thing as a silly comment. Since you seem to have a lot of time, I ask you to please read my response to your previous comment one more time. On another note, does Amphi or Walter Matuchashinski mean anything? It doesn’t to me either :P -g

  6. friend from fergi

    GAURI!!!!!! Is this the petite gauri from fergusson?? short hair, german/lit. major??? omg pls let it be u, it has to be u!!!!!! I recognise that brand of wordplay, it’s unmistakable! And youre still into those wierd crosswords and synth!this is crazy! ok this can’t be anybody else, I’m too excited!!! Guess who this is!!! (Hint: mood-I, NLS b’lore?) I looked for you on Orkut, didn’t find you. Or as always I didn’t get your surname right and I thougt u must be married and have another surname. Ok, LOTS to catch up. I hope you remember me. Ohhhhh I want to see your face when you read this!!

    ps: do u still have a ready stock of pj’s and philosophical fundas to torture ppl? how come I don’t see any philo stuff here? heh I don’t believe this. lol I bet u still mimic ppl to perfection. the only time u’ll stop doing that is when u die lmao!

    u know what made me so sure its u, other than that combo of all the crazy stuff u do? your replies to ppl, I can literally see you saying it! lol now its going to be a big popat if this is someone else. sorry for the long comment.

    :)) What if I tell you this is someone else? Hehehe now I would love to see your face :D (Un)fortunately, Gauri is too common a name; it’s easy to confuse one with another. But Sandy – or Archie or Tuku, whatever your name might be – if you happen to comment again, please do so with a valid email id. For instance, litterateuse @ gmail.com.
    I hope you find your friend. I’m sure you will, if you look carefully :-| -g

  7. Haha you have sure do have a way with words, and how! This is one of the funniest smart blogs and smartest funny blogs I have come across. Keep it up!

    Thanks so much, alec. (Is that what you go by?) I’m grateful. -g

  8. Salt in coffee is an assault on coffee! Sorry, but I’d rather add pepper seasoning in a coffee enema. :D

    Hmm, there seems to be some sort of common interest here. I’ll leave you guys and your favorite topic alone. Party on ;) -g

  9. Hope you don’t mind near extinct species, who are not exactly into tea/coffee, fly by. *hic*
    Cheers!
    ~uh~

    Sure, abstainers are welco….hey, hang on! Does your mommy know what syrup you just had?! -g

  10. I would rather take coffee enemas (tastes better that way, I believe). Does that need salt seasoning, too? My doc ne’er told me nothin’ about it!
    ;-)
    (henceforth the to-be-omitted default smilie)

    Interesting, the ways one can have coffee and taste it too :-|
    Does it need seasoning? Hmm…coffee isn’t about what it needs, doc. It’s about what you need from it :) -g

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